23 March 2009

Pause

Pause!

A symbol with two vertical lines side to side...
Just push the button with that symbol, and your whole life pauses.
Everything around seizes its endless movement.
All the people stay still, all plans disappear for a moment, all worries fade away.
What a fantastic idea!

I desperately need that pause for the time being.
I want everything that bothers me to remain still for a certain duration...
...So that I would leave all aside; grab a pillow, a soft blanket and fit in the tiniest bed, curl up and doze off quietly.

That's all I desire now, just a little bit of silence, a serene feeling of muteness, a deep sleep...

But, in the end, it's a pause anyway; it's all gonna resume when I press the button once again...

18 March 2009

Low

In times when you feel low:

Nothing really makes you happy;
The classical mottos like "Carpe Diem", "Live for the Moment" etc. do not work at all;
Your otherwise bright future suddenly seems to be in a big black haze;
A sad song like Robin Hackett's "Hard Left" expresses your mood most conveniently;
Even your loved ones' comfort does not make you feel relieved;
And repeating the known phrase "Everything's gonna be alright!" turns into a cliché...

But I guess, there's one thing to make you hold on to real life:
It is the belief to a certain destiny.
Your destiny that determines your way ahead, controlling even the smallest detail...
No matter what you do or how much you worry about the consequences.
The idea of a greater power somehow comforts you showing that some things are out of your control... And you did your best...

13 March 2009

The Wings of Dreaming

I hate dreaming!

Although it is "supposed" to be an entertaining and nice activity, it brings about harsh consequences in the end. I know, because I have experienced enough of that.

Dreaming gives you a pair of wings. Wings that make you fly and take you as high as you desire. But, eventually, what is to follow is a sudden free fall, like an apple from a tree. However, the damage comes not only as bruising, as in the case of the apple, but also in dissappointment and depression as well.

That makes me remember the story of Ikaros, the son of the talented craftsman Daedalos. Daedalos, designs two pairs of wings made up of bird feathers attached with wax, both for himself and his son. Together they intend to fly and escape from Crete, where they were imprisoned. Before the journey, Daedalos reminds his son of the danger: he should not fly very high and get very close to the sun, since that melts the wax and the feathers could drift apart. His son promises to be careful. But, once he flew over the blue sea and glid in the bright sky, he wants to reach much higher. Unfortunately, as he rises in the sky, Ikaros's wings fall apart and he crashes right down to the Aeagean Sea and dies instantly.

That is not the same story, but it always reminds me of the case of dreaming. So tragic, and so real... Trying to reach a higher goal that is not possible, is something that's triggered by dreaming. I know I'm being too pessimistic about the whole case of dreaming. But, I would be lying if I say that I believe that "a person is nothing without his dreams" saying...

Maybe that's a phase that'll pass soon. But, for the time being I still hate dreaming!


Icarus & Daedalus
by Frederic Leighton, 1st Baron Leighton
ca 1869

06 March 2009

Why Me?

Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player was dying of AIDS which he got due to infected blood he received during a heart surgery in 1983. From world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed: "Why does God have to select you for such a bad disease?"

To this Arthur Ashe replied: In the world, over 50 million children start playing tennis, 5 million learn to play tennis, 500.000 of them learn professional tennis, 50.000 come to the circuit, 5.000 reach the grand slam, 50 reach Wimbledon, 4 to semi-finals, 2 to the finals. When I was holding the championship cup I never asked God "Why me?"... And today in pain I should not be asking God "Why me?"

Happiness makes someone nice; success makes glorious...
Hardships make tough; sorrow makes mature...
Defeat makes someone humble...

So, why say "God, why me?"

What is to happen, happens anyway...