Forgetfulness

It is your fate, forgetfulness. All of the old lessons of life, you lose and gain and lose and gain again.

Leto II - The Voice of Dar-es-Balat

from Frank Herbert's "Heretics of Dune"

Romance & Melancholy

It's been snowing almost for one month now. 3 days of heavy snow, then stops for a couple of days, but then again, starts snowing heavily.

The problem is not to cope with the cold weather or traffic; bu it's that heavy snow itself... Though so intense, it also snows so beautifully, so gracefully that it reawakens the very romantic side in me... The desire to walk hand-in-hand in the snow covered streets comes back... Looking at the trees, the white surface, the glittering lights in the city under the snow. Stopping for a while and an embrace, a soft kiss, a current running through the body, the feeling, the feeling of the lightness of being.

Looking through the window, empty handed... A gloomy melancholy triggered by the romantic mood takes effect. The Melancholy keeps feeding the Romance, the very source of itself... It becomes a vicious circle, a snake biting its own tail...

The Unduly Significance

When you take back the unduly significance you put on people, what remains is a somehow dull and monotonous but predictable relationtionship.

p.s. Inspired by M.Guray's words

Interrogation

Is it true?

The reason why I am so attracted to you now - is it because you're out of reach?

Is this why I reluctantly chose you among all the others that I hated utterly? Or is it the very reason of my choice, having you and not wanting to be very close?

Are you the one that holds all I needed and all I swore not to have again within the very same personage? The intimacy I longed for, the sweetness I cherished...? But, the one I swore never to love, never to be with, never to be attached to as well?...

What are you, tell me now!

Movies With Known Tragic Endings

It happens always the same with movie adaptations. Since it is an adaptation, the audience already knows the subject, the story line and even the ending from the very beginning. If it is based on a story with a tragic ending, i.e. the main guy dying of cancer in the end, the couple splitting up, or the mother losing her children, the effect becomes much intense. Though the ending is very tragic and quite unbearable, some audience is still very much willing to go all the way... Watch the movie, get into the feeling, taste all details within the sequences and towards the end feel the tightness in the chest that it's gonna end up badly.

What makes those movies still attractive to the audience is probably the experience throughout the movie. The tension created in the end is nothing compared to the pleasure of living the scenario, seeing all good scenes, listening to nice dialogues, discovering all characters and the music...

But, are all these worth experiencing the trouble in the end? What is even harder is that watching that movie is done willingly... Willingly to go through all that pain to see the tragic ending.

What my personal experience tells me is that living through the best moments of the movie is worth shedding all the tears to the ending. And it is a fact that there will always be other new movies with known tragic endings that the audience will fancy watching, over and over again...

Left Deep Inside

It's a somewhat gloomy mood I'm in these few days... Throwing me into deep corners: dark, damp and narrow. Slashing my heart into pieces, gathering them up and making whole again; just to slash once again. The resentment, the insatiable feeling of hunger... Hunger for life, more life...

But, whatever happens, it is the same feeling again: The feeling of something that is left deep inside...