Parallel

Parallel World:

A hypothetical self-contained separate reality co-existing with one's own. (definition from Wikipedia)

A set of conditions that provides an alternate reality to one's own life and creates a pleasant feeling, but it is completely different in terms of location, environment and circumstances from reality. (my definition)

The Parallel World saved my life many times I believe. In times of loneliness, boredom, stagnation or depression I found myself in these worlds where I had no need of questioning time, place, reasons or results. I just dove into a vast ocean of pleasure and sensation. It was quite easy and comfortable at these times, although return to real life was a bit painful. But I managed to survive that.

The Parallel World was an escape plan, a shortcut or a simple way to ignore reality. But so as all escape plans it had faults. And these faults lead to a collapse this time...

I guess there is a limit to be in the parallel world. If you get in and out more than you are supposed to, then this alternate reality becomes something familiar, some part of your own reality - not alternative any more. Knowing that there is a place somewhere, touching a heart that beats there, feeling a warmness inside, a soothing emotion... These lead to the collapse eventually, and now I desire to be in the parallel world for good, or the parallel world to be a genuine part of my world.

At this point, it becomes strikingly clear why it is called "parallel". Because it does not truly co-exist with reality (although Wikipedia says so); or it cannot be combined or made real easily.

Left here somewhere in between my reality and a longing for a union with the parallel world... Just clinging to memories and waiting...